"If Only You Knew..."

She sat on the edge of her bed. Tears streaming down her face and looking at her sound asleep 1 year old son. She watched him sleep knowing he would wake up screaming for food she was not able to give him. She wrapped her arms around her 6-month pregnant belly. How was she going to bring another life into this world when she couldn’t even take care of and provide for the one she already had. As she watched the sun rise she looked up and made a decision that would change the rest of her life.

She got dressed and made the trek through the mud filled Koré area to the only place she knew she could get some help fast. She needed money but couldn’t explain what for. She knew she would be denied in a heartbeat if they knew the truth.

Turning the corner she replayed in her mind over and over and over again the story she would tell.

As she walked through those church doors she asked for the person she was told to ask for and made her way to his office. As she entered tears flowed like a waterfall from her eyes. She sat down and recited her perfected lie. As she sat weeping she felt the money being placed into her hand. She looked down and grasped on tight, letting the tears flow even greater.

As she stood up to leave the man asked if she would be willing to come to a bible study that was meeting right then. He would like to have the women pray over her and her unborn baby. She felt she had no other choice and solemnly walked in to the room filled with women.

She sat for 2 hours listening to these women who have absolutely nothing, cry out to this absent being. With shouts of “Yahweh! Holy is your name!” “And praise you oh Lord, the one who saves!” She watched as these women found strength and comfort in their cries. She watched their faith and became so enthralled.

She slowly got to her knees and let hands of unknown women be placed upon her. She began to weep and said over and over again in her mind, “if only you knew…”
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4 months go by and she finds herself in front of that same church. Only this time with a baby strapped to her back. A baby who shouldn’t be here. A baby who 4 months previous was carried in her mother’s womb into this very church to tell the lie to receive money to end her life.

Once more she slowly enters the room filled with women and gets on her knees. She begins to weep only this time it’s tear of joy, tears of thankfulness. For that day 4 months ago she received and embraced the gift of forgiveness and salvation and because of that day and these women, she now sits with her newborn baby, Mihert, meaning forgiveness and salvation.
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Today I sat looking at this drop dead gorgeous 4 year old, a girl who brings an amazing reminder to her mother each day of the gift of salvation and forgiveness. A girl who brought an amazing reminder to me of just how great a God we serve. How limitless he is and just how possible he is. A God who sees us and weeps when we weep and provides when we need provision. I know I shouldn’t be this amazed, but I love that I am. I love that I serve a God who continues to amaze me and who continues to bring me back to a place where I realize just how capable he is when we let him take the wheel. As I sat listening to her story I couldn’t help but think of all the people who have no idea the greatness of Christ. I found myself shaking my head and just saying, “if only you knew”