If you build it they will come

We have now reached the 4 day mark of no water-once again!

I have killed more bugs in the last 48 hours then I have in my life! My nightly routine is going into my room and looking for any flying thing that may even resemble a bimbee in the slightest way and smashing the heck out of it!

It wasn’t until Sunday that I finally felt comfortable enough to stay here for a year. I feel confident that I may actually be able to do this. I’ve found an american grocery store, an american hamburger place that screams pinterest decor, internet, a church I finally get to be a part of and go to, and a view like this at sunset just outside of my compound door:

(Yes this is the fence surrounding the dump-it also took 40 minutes to upload this picture...) 

This morning I sat with the small group leaders of Transformation Love and had bible study. A little over 3 months ago Transformation Love pulled out of the church we were a part of. Because of that the volunteers, beneficiaries and staff of Transformation Love were exiled from the church. For many of them that has been their church, friends and family for years(some for life). I didn’t fully grasp the pain until today, when we told the small group leaders that we have approved money to begin a Transformation Love church on our compound. The man sitting next to me, who just happened to be a former elder of the church, raised his hands and cried out “Amen! Glory to God” Shortly after I glanced over and noticed tears running down his face. This man of God who desires nothing more then to bring people further into Christ’s kingdom, has been in pain. He has had backs turned on him and has been “lost”. 

I couldn’t help but think of that sunset view yesterday, Easter. I can’t even imagine what that day looked like, the day of his resurrection thousands of years ago. The day our Lord and Savior rose again after having backs turned on him. After he was beaten and bruised for the sins of this world. My heart was torn yesterday and this morning thinking about how many have not heard how dearly loved they are. So many are lost.

Despite no water, off and on electricity, bimbee attacks, and missing my family and friends, I am so thankful to be in the presence of these people. I have a chance to watch the Lord mend their hearts and bring a place for them to worship together once more. I have the chance to watch them be Transformed by love.  

T.I.A.

Seven days in Addis and I can say I have had more adventures and experiences then I have ever had in my life. 

The 8 heavy, yellow, water jugs sitting out on the porch have become a staple in my daily routine. I can now say confidently, I have learned how to shower with a bucket (there is a fine science I never knew existed). I’ve learned how to flush a toilet using a half cut open water bottle. Bimbee’s love me and showed it 24 times one night. (Bimbee is amharic for mosquitos-which I will never forget due to the one time I said Bimbo instead and became the laughing stock. Stupid Americans...) I have learned you always carry your umbrella because within minutes it can go from sunny to torrential downpour. I have learned I love the smiles of the Transformation Love kids despite the snot hanging from some their noses and the unknown gooey hand holding. I have learned that dancing at 2am when you hear the water come back on after 6 days, is very heathy for your soul. And lastly I have learned NOTHING is easy in Africa. (T.I.A.-this is africa, has meandered it’s little head back into my vocabulary)

In the week I’ve been here, I’ve come to realize this is not the Ethiopia I’ve known the last 2 times. This Ethiopia is different. I’m different. Between the ups and downs and laying in bed at 4am really wondering if I could do this, I have come up with my theme for this year. Peace. 

I was reminded of what an important role peace plays in our life when I was doing my devotion a few days ago. It went back to when Jesus first appeared to the disciples after the resurrection and how peace was the first thing he communicated. (John 20:19) This year is a year for peace. For me to learn to be at peace in what God is doing and rejoice in the times of trial, and ice cold bucket showers... 

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:15

It's on like donkey kong

This may make absolutely no sense to you what so ever, but today it finally hit me:

I'm moving to Africa for a year.
I'm moving to Africa for a year?!?

Holy cow people. We're in single digits.
I've had a lot of people ask me how I'm feeling and if I'm ready.
My answer: no.
But I'm so excited to be in this place. It's an hourly battle in my head.
I constantly question if I should REALLY go. How easy would it be to stay here.
But then I take a deep breath and tell myself to stop being selfish.
I'm called to live a life of faith and faith does not make things easy, it makes them possible.
I have a relationship with a possible God and that in its self is worth experiencing.


For those of you who have asked for contact info while I'll be gone. Here you go (ps-I do love mail...)-although packages have a chance of not getting to me and cost as much as it does to fill up your gas tank.

My mailing address:
Amber Hook
Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Nefas silk Lafto
Wereda: 02
2587

My Skype name: ambernhook
E-mail: ambernhook@gmail.com

Me&You

Yeshua,

Each new day I'm finding new ways to walk with you. 

Each day I'm finding that in my moments of fear and what seems like failure you are steadfast and walking in step with me.

In those moments of breakdowns and needing to pull over due to the loss of vision from tear filled eyes, you catch each fallen one and hold them so delicately in the palm of your hand.

As each day draws nearer to getting on that plane, I'm experiencing incredible blessings at an astronomical level.

The countdown has begun and it's just me and you. 

Me and you both against and for the world.

 And despite the sadness of saying my "goodbyes"

I can't wait to soak up every moment of this adventure.

Dearly Loved

I've never been one to categorize myself as your A-Typical girl. I like sports (and understand what's going on. thank you very much!). I could care less if I broke a nail. The color pink often makes me sick (especially on sports jerseys). The Notebook is NOT my favorite movie and I don't think Brad Pitt is the hottest man alive. Matt Damon or Jake Gyllenhaal on the other hand... 

But the A-Typical quality that I've seemed to "pick" up is this incessant crying, mainly in my car. Many times in the last year and a half I have found myself touching up my make-up after getting into a semi-spiritual moment and becoming so overwhelmed I have no other option then to just let the river of tears flow. 

This Saturday and Sunday was one of those times. This weekend I took my fear of the stage and faced it to share with the congregation what I will be doing while in Ethiopia. I wish I could say I smashed my fear like I use to smash the moles in whack-a-mole, but unfortunately I feel I only smashed it like a 3 year-old flatening their play-doh. By the third service only my knees were shaking...progress right?

Well after the service I had a table set up where I could talk more with people and if they felt called to help me with support funds they could. I went into this weekend needing just over $6510. My budget was set at $18,600 for the year (if only I could make that happen here in San Jose!) and now I'm just one short-term mission's trip away of completing my goal.  As of today-I'm only in need of $3150. In a mere 18 hours I raised $3360 and possibly have 2 kids sponsored! Can my tears be justified now? 

As I drove home from all three services I couldn't help but be so overwhelmed as I thought about this song called Dearly Loved by Jimmy Needham. It's become a very big favorite of mine. If you have a chance listen to it. **don't be scared by the intro. I promise it is not a phony-lullaby-drag-down-drop-out-kind of song.** It became so powerful to me driving home thinking about all the people who have no idea how dearly loved they are by such an amazing God. And how much it's worth it to know our maker and lose our sins. I love my church family and their hearts and willingness to extend the hands and feet of EVC half-way around the world. I love they that they are so passionate to transform hearts in love and support those called to do things that they may not be able to do.

Things I'll Miss

Thursday I bought my ticket to leave. Along with the ticket came a flood of tears. I'm not talking just the rise of a river flood. I'm talking a flood of epic proportions like this.

Okay-slightly dramatic I know. But it's how I felt. This doesn't mean I think I'm making a mistake; actually I have complete peace in my decision. It just stirred up a lot of emotions and got me thinking about all the things I'm going to miss.

During my run this morning, I found myself listing off things that I'm really going to miss and thought I'd share my top 10 with you.

1. My bed. It is honestly my favorite place in the whole entire world. The worst part is I'm selling it and I know I will never get it back.

2. This little princess:

I have had the absolute privilege of being a part of her life for the last 3 years. She has two amazing parents who have nurtured and poured into her. She is so smart and adorable. I am going to miss my Friday/Random night "dates" playing princesses and having tea parties. I will miss laying on the floor singing disney princess songs-which I'll admit she has had to teach me some of the words to. I will miss her asking me to give her "princess" hair and rocking her to sleep. And most of all I will miss her hilarious OCD habits-a girl after my own heart!






3. Sharks Hockey/Sports in general
Going 2 days with out hockey is torture enough. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to go a full year. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it.

4. My Family
Yes, I have Skype and FaceTime and yes, I have had the last couple months to cope with not being around them all the time. But to know it's not just a quick plane flight out there to see them puts a rock in my stomach.





5. My Friends
For fear of hurting anyone's feelings-I'm generalizing this. I have been so blessed with the people in my life. Each one has taught me a little thing about myself and helped me grow into the person I am. I love being able to have friends that spend the first few hours of the new year praying that it be holy and pleasing to Christ. I love the random dinner and bonfire nights consumed in fellowship. I love sitting down and taking jokes too far and being able to sit reflect on "God moments".

6. My Coworkers/Job
Last night I spent a whole night bowling and laughing a ton with my coworkers. I am so blessed with the job I have and the people that I have the privilege of serving together with. I am going to miss putting on events with Juli and having pictures like this taken because of my extreme attention to detail.






7. Netflix. Enough said.

8. Gym/Hiking- I'm really going to miss being able to leave work and go down the hill to the gym. Also my days off of waking up and deciding to go for a hike. I'm going to miss my mornings of plugging in my worship mix and hiking in the hills of San Jose and being able to spend some time basking in the beauty that God has created.

9. Music/Fast "Waifai"
I'm going to miss being able to download music in a minute or less.





10. My Car
It's kind of funny that this made my top 10 because I absolutely hate driving. But the idea of not really having the freedom to go where I want (free of the fear of being killed by crazy drivers) makes me a little sad.



There is a lot more things that I know I will miss. But right now those are top on my list. Like I said before-even though I'm sad, I'm so ready and excited. My tears are tears of joy, fear, contentment, peace, and faith. God is walking beside me, not in front of or behind me. I know there will be days where I am given things I simply can't handle. But strangely enough those are the days I'm looking forward to the most. The days where I get to experience God in the fullest form and allow myself to fall at his feet.

Basics

It's the beginning of a new year. I've never been a person that makes new years resolutions. I don't make them because I have accepted the fact that in 3 months I'll be no where near the goal and end up being super disappointed in myself, which then results into a steady, spiraling downfall of picking out every little flaw and sitting in a pool of self pity.

But this year is different. As I laid in bed Sunday morning I began to look back at my journals for 2011. I started to compile a list of highs and lows. It went from betrayal to finding loyalty. From pain and depression to excitement and joy. I went from being a faithless, starving person to a person with extreme faith and hunger for Christ.

Instead of making a new year resolution, I've decided to make a new-day resolution. Each day I will make a resolution and decision for that day. Our walk with Christ is an everyday battle. A daily battle of picking up my cross and realizing that, just as John Piper said, "God created us for this: to live our lives in a way that makes him look more like the greatness and beauty and the infinite worth that he really is. This is what it means to be created in the image of God."

As this new year begins I will getting back to the basics. Starting from the beginning daily. Remembering that I live each day to glorify him and expose his beauty.