Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I'm Not Able On My Own

It's funny how the pure sound of only the crickets outside and the spinning of the overhead fan can rip a girl to pieces and allow the purest of tears to fall.

Sitting at my kitchen table writing up transformation love profiles (the profiles you get when you sponsor a child that has all the information about them to help you fall in love) I can't help but start to tear up.
I've seen first hand what these children look like and live in. I've held their hands, despite what gooeyness may be there. I've embraced a woman, who just moments before was digging in trash, then with all her heart plants a kiss on my cheek.  

My tears don't fall because I am broken for them. They fall because I am broken for myself. These women and children struggle daily, no... hourly, to live and get by. Yet all they want is to be loved. 

There is that saying, all you need is love. For a long time I didn't believe it to be true. Really, all I need is a job, food, clothing, and shelter. Yet when I take a step back, I see how broken those things have made me. I find myself realizing those things are so worldly.

What I need is something unworldly. I need a love so extreme that Lady GaGa looks normal. I need a love that I am fearful of, because it's something I can not grasp. I am not able to do this on my own. I do not have the power, the skills or the means to accomplish what God can do.

More and more I am seeing why God told me to wait till March to go to Ethiopia. He is molding and shaping my heart to be able. These women are the most strong and courageous women. They battle and fight against what they are told they are not able to do. I'm excited as each day approaches for me to leave, because that brings me closer and closer to experiencing these children and these women's stories. It's bringing me closer and closer to helping them see that with the right "equipment", they are able too.

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