Apollo 13

I randomly decided to watch Apollo 13 this afternoon. It's been a long time since I've watched this movie and I sort of forgot how much I love it.

There is a scene in the movie when Tom Hanks character imagines himself landing on the moon. As he hops down he bends down and runs his hands in the sand. His face completely lights up and there is pure contentment.

Sometimes I think that's how it's going to be when I get back to Ethiopia. There is the longing and joy inside of me right now and I can not wait to be there. I can not wait to come off the plane and see all the faces of the people I love and miss deeply-I may not run out and put my hands in the sand, but I know that my face will light up just how Tom's does in the movie.

God has been shaping and molding my heart a lot lately. I've been reminded so much of how blessed I am with the relationships in my life. I have such amazing friends and family who support me so much. Even through certain situations in the last 2 weeks [such as finding out that I am not completely funded in monthly support] I have found each step to be exciting and joyous.

I may not be going to the moon or be an astronaut, but I know that while I go on this journey; I'll have a whole room of people supporting me and helping me through hard situations.

Blessings

I love inside jokes and that awkward feeling you give people when they have no clue what you and the other person are laughing uncontrollably about. 

My family has an inside joke that stems from my Grandma. She likes to end every conversation with "goodbye, my blessing" or "love you, blessing". We like to poke fun of that whenever we are around each other-and because you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's not that funny to you. But it's hilarious to us. Lately I've found myself becoming my Grandma. Blessing has somehow wedged it's cheesy little face into my top 10 words used. 

Throughout this journey I have found myself having days where I am in complete and udder fear of what next year will look like and other days where I'm ready to jump on a plane at that moment. Yesterday was neither of those. Yesterday was a day where I could hardly contain my Hover Damn of tears and eventually had to release them. Yesterday was a day where all I could do was sit in my car and cry out to God in thankfulness for his limitless blessings he has poured out on me. 

As of yesterday I have officially become fully funded in monthly support. (I still have just over $6,000 to raise before I leave). 

You may sit there and say-yeah yeah yeah, big deal. But here's the kicker. I have yet to send out a support letter. I have it written and saved on my computer but I haven't printed a single one out. I have simply just sat down with people and shared my story and shared how God is working. 

Last night I went to a young adults/college group with my roommate. At the end of the message the pastor said, "Jesus is not the reason for this season, you are." It took a minute for me to fully grasp that concept. But now that I have-I couldn't agree more. Jesus came for us. To bless us. 

I love this "season" of my life. Both literally and theologically. And I am so glad I am the reason for this season-God is truly my blessing.

Missionary

I, like so many others, have recently joined this bandwagon of "pinning"(and if we're being really honest I've converted a few to join the cult as well)-if you're completely lost about what this means, go find the nearest girl and ask. She'll explain it all.

But because of this new addition to my life I have come across many sayings and definitions that I have come to adopt. The above being one. 

This morning on my drive to work I found myself in tears having a God moment as I listened to the song "Soon" by Hillsong United (take a listen here)

In this song there is a part that says "Soon and very soon I'll be with the one I love. With unveiled face I'll see Him there, then my soul will be satisfied"

I completely broke down as I thought about that. Only when we are in heaven seated next to the one we are to love, will our soul be completely and utterly satisfied. To see him there robed majestically and in a place where all the angels and the elders fall at his feet and worship Him eternally. Only then will our soul will be satisfied.

What a concept.

Today is one of those days where all fear and hindrances are put aside. I am ready to be a missionary. I am ready to pour into others lives so that one day they may spend eternity with me as a family, even though it means leaving the ones I love for a short time. 

Shoes and Bugs

It's funny how each day passes I have a new emotion about leaving.

Yesterday I couldn't take the smile off my face. This morning...different story. I woke up at 5:30am for no reason-well what I think is no reason. As I laid there I simply tried to clear my mind (despite the many words I wanted to say out loud due to the frustration of being wide awake while it was clearly still dark outside). As I laid there fear began to creep over me.

Along this journey I have learned that it is a daily battle for me to follow the will of Christ. This morning was definitely a battle. I began to think about my bed (for those of you who do not know, my bed may possibly be my favorite place). I started to think about how much I will miss it. I've decided for me to fully go on this walk with Christ, I need to get rid of most of my belongings. I don't want things holding me back and making it easier and easier for me to come up with a reason to come home before my year is over. I'm taking the Elijah approach-without the whole burning everything stuff.

As I had my mini pity party this morning I started to think about this blog I read yesterday and quickly my mood changed. I could summarize it for you, but reading it does it far more justice. I don't know the writer, but I know she helped me remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. God called me and he will equip me for this journey. I just need to let him.

Here is the link for the blog. Please read it. **forewarning- you may need some kleenex**
http://bringlove.in/a-night-on-the-streets-of-addis-ababa/

I'm Not Able On My Own

It's funny how the pure sound of only the crickets outside and the spinning of the overhead fan can rip a girl to pieces and allow the purest of tears to fall.

Sitting at my kitchen table writing up transformation love profiles (the profiles you get when you sponsor a child that has all the information about them to help you fall in love) I can't help but start to tear up.

I've seen first hand what these children look like and live in. I've held their hands, despite what gooeyness may be there. I've embraced a woman, who just moments before was digging in trash, then with all her heart plants a kiss on my cheek.  

My tears don't fall because I am broken for them. They fall because I am broken for myself. These women and children struggle daily, no... hourly, to live and get by. Yet all they want is to be loved. 

There is that saying, all you need is love. For a long time I didn't believe it to be true. Really, all I need is a job, food, clothing, and shelter. Yet when I take a step back, I see how broken those things have made me. I find myself realizing those things are so worldly.

What I need is something unworldly. I need a love so extreme that Lady GaGa looks normal. I need a love that I am fearful of, because it's something I can not grasp. I am not able to do this on my own. I do not have the power, the skills or the means to accomplish what God can do.

More and more I am seeing why God told me to wait till March to go to Ethiopia. He is molding and shaping my heart to be able. These women are the most strong and courageous women. They battle and fight against what they are told they are not able to do. I'm excited as each day approaches for me to leave, because that brings me closer and closer to experiencing these children and these women's stories. It's bringing me closer and closer to helping them see that with the right "equipment", they are able too.

To Be Your Hands and Feet

Many people have asked questions of what I will be doing while in Africa.

I am a firm believer that actions speak more than words. And since not every one of you can travel with me to Ethiopia to experience and see what I can, I thought I would share a video of the ministry I will mainly be working with. 

http://vimeo.com/14257492

Remaining, Abiding, and Following

...It was 930 in the morning. She sat with her coffee in hand, bible in front of her and silence all around. Dealing with the emotional roller coaster her life seemed to be the last year, she began to pray before she started her morning bible study. As she prayed she said the same words she'd been repeating the last 10 weeks. She felt the tug, but deep inside she was honestly hoping there would be a different answer. She hoped God would close the door and show her the next step in her journey as a single, childless, young woman.

She opened her eyes and began to read, "A Wrong Pattern. I hear so many people say something like this: "Lord, I will proceed in this direction. Close the door if it is not Your will. This approach isn't found in Scripture." Out loud she replied, "Henry Blackaby, you SUCK!"....

Yes, this girl was me and yes, I did say those words out loud. Over the last 4 years I have repeated many times that I, at some point in my life, would like to do missionary work in another country for at least a year of my life. This summer I had the opportunity to travel back to Ethiopia, Africa for the second time. This trip not only broke me down but started this exciting journey for my future. I fought the idea of moving to Africa (I prayed continuously that God would close the door if that's not where he wanted me) even though it was so heavy on my heart. I had in my mind that this was just another "mountain top experience". It wasn't until I read those words from Henry Blackaby in his book Experiencing God, that I realized God doesn't lay desires upon your heart for you to ask him to take them away. When he calls you to something, you are to go. He calls us to remain in him, abide in him, and follow him.

And that my friends and family, is exactly what I'm doing. I'm remaining, abiding, and following the call of Christ. March 2012 I, Amber Hook, will be moving to Ethiopia, Africa for a year. I will have the amazing opportunity to be a missionary and love on the poorest of the poor. I will have the chance to live outside of my comfort zone and learn to have faith in God like I never have before. As I go through this journey I want to be able to share my stories with the people in my life. I want to be able to look back and read how God worked and how he continues to work. After all I am, just a girl experiencing God.