I realized this morning (as I sit with my dog laying on my feet and coffee in hand-what's new?), how much I have forgotten to spend time enjoying God lately.
I reached a point where I was able to finally say, "I was angry." or "I'm just sad" and then everything just stopped. I felt like I had reached the top of the mountain I've been fighting so hard to climb and just felt like sitting there. I stopped wanting to seek God. I stopped wanting to experience him. I stopped wanting to climb higher.
I've reached a point that I spend so much time preparing for a small group or studying what was taught on Sunday or reading some book so I can have "good theology", that I forget to take a quiet morning and just let God whisper to me. To sit and be still and just listen.
Then I watched this.
I realized I've focused so much on being broken and not happy with where I am, that I forget how others see me and how God made me.
I see these tiny imperfections and I let them eat away at me. I see that I'm not making as much money as everyone else, I'm not living on my own anymore, I'm not that girl on pinterest pinning things for her wedding (i'm pinning them for my sister)-don't get me wrong, I'm more than excited she's getting married.
I'm just at a place where I'm too busy realizing I'm not where I think I should be, I forget where I am.
I'm at a place where everyone else is. Broken, imperfect and suffering.
It just looks a little different.
This video is a great reminder of what Solomon talks about in Ecclesiastes or what Paul says in Ephesians. And as I sit here I can't help but feel God leaning over and just gently whispering:
"I have made everything beautiful in my own time. I planted eternity in your heart. Seek it. You can't see now what I'm doing from beginning to end because, if you could it would crush you. But be still my child. I am with you and I love you. Stop looking at all the things you're not and rest in the understanding that I don't want you that way at this time. Embrace me. Trust me. For I am yours and you are mine. You are perfect in your imperfections."
I reached a point where I was able to finally say, "I was angry." or "I'm just sad" and then everything just stopped. I felt like I had reached the top of the mountain I've been fighting so hard to climb and just felt like sitting there. I stopped wanting to seek God. I stopped wanting to experience him. I stopped wanting to climb higher.
I've reached a point that I spend so much time preparing for a small group or studying what was taught on Sunday or reading some book so I can have "good theology", that I forget to take a quiet morning and just let God whisper to me. To sit and be still and just listen.
Then I watched this.
I realized I've focused so much on being broken and not happy with where I am, that I forget how others see me and how God made me.
I see these tiny imperfections and I let them eat away at me. I see that I'm not making as much money as everyone else, I'm not living on my own anymore, I'm not that girl on pinterest pinning things for her wedding (i'm pinning them for my sister)-don't get me wrong, I'm more than excited she's getting married.
I'm just at a place where I'm too busy realizing I'm not where I think I should be, I forget where I am.
I'm at a place where everyone else is. Broken, imperfect and suffering.
It just looks a little different.
This video is a great reminder of what Solomon talks about in Ecclesiastes or what Paul says in Ephesians. And as I sit here I can't help but feel God leaning over and just gently whispering:
"I have made everything beautiful in my own time. I planted eternity in your heart. Seek it. You can't see now what I'm doing from beginning to end because, if you could it would crush you. But be still my child. I am with you and I love you. Stop looking at all the things you're not and rest in the understanding that I don't want you that way at this time. Embrace me. Trust me. For I am yours and you are mine. You are perfect in your imperfections."
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