Coffee Shop Thoughts

Memorial day.

It’s not just another day for bbqs (although if we’re being honest, I’m really missing that part)

It’s a day to remember those who have sacrificed their lives for America.

Even though the day is just beginning back home and almost over for me, I am so thankful for this day. Being in Ethiopia puts a completely new meaning to Memorial Day for me. On a daily basis I see poverty and hear stories of people who have no other choice then to live in the conditions they do. They didn’t have troops who fought for freedom. They don’t have a country where they can come and go as they please. They have a country that finds no desire to increase their technology or living conditions. They are a country so rich in water, yet I am on day 24 of no running water at my house. They do not have access to the knowledge or have the will to seek out other options. They don’t have the choice to chose what cell phone company they want to use or which is the best Internet provider, because well, there’s just one.

The government owns them. They don’t have the option to have an option.

Today I am remembering not only the people who gave and GIVE their lives to give me an option. I’m thanking God every second for the gift of knowing freedom (and not just in the worldly sense).

Just 10 Minutes

As I sit on my bed, in my quiet house with nothing but the clicking of my fingers and rotating of the fan, I can’t help but take a deep long breath. After 24 hours of…well let’s just call it quality time with my shintbet (toilet in Amharic) the last thing I wanted to do was go traipsing through the Kore area all morning visiting people in their homes.

I know what you might be thinking, how can this girl be a missionary? She doesn’t even want to visit people. But stick with me. I promise it’ll get better.

I grabbed my chuck taylors, a bottle of water, threw some PB(pepto bismol) in my pocket,  put on my sunglasses and set out to do my best to put a smile on my face. As we left my compound and made our way for the main taxi road, I felt this immense release of sickness and increased strength. Something I haven’t known for a couple days.

We began our 20 minute walk into the Kore area, or the streets of Jesus as I like to call it. I have never been able to truly picture how it was while Jesus was alive, until I walked down these roads. Children come running and screaming and want to just say hi and touch your hand because you are white; then run away with a smile from ear to ear because the forenjee just said hi and touched their hand. You see lepers lying sprawled out on the ground, walking on their hands or begging for money. At any given moment you can feel the stares of 20 eyes upon you, watching your every move.

As you enter into the “neighborhood” you become extremely aware that you aren’t in Kansas anymore. The homes are about 6x6 foot mud huts with a piece of metal to shield from the rain and sun. The smells of bodily waste running down the walkway, injera cooking and freshly laid donkey “presents” are enough to make you want to vomit. But quietly you cover your nose and breath as little as possible from your mouth.

We made our way from house to house. It wasn’t until the second home that I became aware of this overwhelming joy in my heart, a joy that has never been there. Home visits have always been rough for me. I’m germ-a-phobic and believe not only in God, but bleach and hand sanitizer. Seeing the conditions these people live in makes my skin crawl and completely breaks my heart. A small part of me wants to avoid home visits at all costs because of the reminder of just how absolutely poverty-stricken these people are. But today, today was different. Like I said before I found absolute joy today. As I prayed over a woman who has ovarian cysts, knowing she will never be able to pay to have them removed, I felt the presence of God. I became so overjoyed with watching how God is transforming these women’s lives, how knowing him makes them so addicting to be around. They understand what it means to come around those who are sick and spend time creating relationships. They aren’t in a rush. They take time to appreciate what they do have and glorify God for it.

I fell so deeply in love with this ministry today. So deep in love with how God uses us, ordinary people, to do His extraordinary work in His timing.

Oswald Chambers once said, “It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God, but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life and holy in the ordinary streets, among ordinary people-and this is not learned in five minutes”

If you are the sun, I want to be the moon

I’ll never forget that sound. The sound of a crying 2 year old screaming at the top of her pediatric lungs, which seems to pierce the ear drums of anyone in a quarter mile radius. Screaming to be held. Not just held by anyone, but the screams to be held by her mother. The only issue, her mother will never wrap her arms around this little girl, her seven-year-old sister or estranged husband again. Her and her sister are now one of the 16.6 million children orphaned by HIV, this disgusting virus that overtakes your body and quickly turns a cold into a death sentence.

Three weeks ago, I experienced my first Ethiopian Orthodox funeral. I can say that was not something I’ve ever had on my bucket list. I watched for an hour and a half, completely confused at what exactly was going on and completely heart broken at the same time. I watched people come from all over the Korah area to pray over this dead body and beg that she be allowed into heaven. I watched people fall on their faces believing this was the only way she would meet Jesus.

What many of them don’t know is that for the last year she has heard a different way; a free way. As I sat there watching the scene unfold before me, my heart broke. Begging and pleading for eternal life is not what was intended for us as humans. I don’t know if she ever fully embraced grace and mercy and freedom. But what I do know is I am so thankful for the ministry in which God has called me to be a part of. A ministry who believes that transformation of life (and spirit) comes through love, despite what you believe.

A Shepherd and an Ox

As he pulled his 40 something year old body out of bed, he stretched and started planning his day. He got dressed, kissed his wife goodbye and got into his car to head for the countryside. 5 minutes into his drive he quickly turned his car back around, realizing he didn’t pray for God’s protection on his journey. After arriving home to pray, he kissed his wife once more and headed back out. The long road was mostly empty, except for an occasional car. As he stared ahead he made his way up a hill as he came over the hill the only sight was the oncoming red and yellow front of a bus...

12 people died that day because one man tried to save a young shepherd and his ox.

As I walked down the hallway I pulled the small hand of a 6 year old closer to me. I followed 3 men down the hallway of a hospital. As I looked around I couldn’t help but relate this building to an extremely run down insane asylum. Large metal doors with small placards told what proceeded behind each door. Broken benches lined the walls with helpless bodies lying sprawled out. As we made our way to the fourth floor I released the small hand and guided him outside along with his sister, to where they would not be able to witness what I was about to see. I followed the 3 men into a large room filled with people. As I walked in I became aware of the common gaze that falls upon me due to my foreingee skin. 20+ eyes stared at me as I made my way over to the bed of the man who only days before, was on the verge of death. He held out his hand to great me and as I reached out to return the greeting he latched on and began to tell me his story. As he spoke I couldn’t help but notice the IV bags hanging from nails above his bed, the drainage/catheter bags lay in plastic bowls scattered around the floor and along the wall the scurrying of roaches raised the hair on my arms.

A huge knot formed in my stomach as I held this mans hand. He was hit head on by a bus and somehow survived. Although he suffered internal bleeding, a separated shoulder, 4 broken ribs and head lacerations, he was alive.

As I prayed over him in hushed tones, knowing I was breaking the rules of the hospital, I thanked God for this miracle. I prayed and thanked God for the ability to see His work and marvel in the glory of His power. There are days I still wonder why I'm here. This day I didn't. I am learning to experience God in a fullest form. It's a journey and I'm hanging on for dear life.

Fears

Remember that time in your life where you walked down the sidewalk and made sure you never stepped on a crack for fear you might break your mothers back? Or that split second fear you possess when you realize you have no idea where your phone is or you forgot something extremely important?

Fear is interesting to me. It's a seriously unpleasant emotion that changes the way you think and act in an instant. Being in an "unfamiliar" place with a VERY unfamiliar language has brought some fears out in me. But as I sit here, on day one of being "mom" for the next 3 weeks, watching a 5 year old have the time of his life killing flies; I can't help but thank God for fear. It gives me the chance to let Him work through me and gives me a chance to work on being codependent and not independent.

During my times of "fear" I'm praying I keep this word close to my heart. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10

I'm thankful for the righteousness God possess and allows me to see in His time and not mine.

If you build it they will come

We have now reached the 4 day mark of no water-once again!

I have killed more bugs in the last 48 hours then I have in my life! My nightly routine is going into my room and looking for any flying thing that may even resemble a bimbee in the slightest way and smashing the heck out of it!

It wasn’t until Sunday that I finally felt comfortable enough to stay here for a year. I feel confident that I may actually be able to do this. I’ve found an american grocery store, an american hamburger place that screams pinterest decor, internet, a church I finally get to be a part of and go to, and a view like this at sunset just outside of my compound door:

(Yes this is the fence surrounding the dump-it also took 40 minutes to upload this picture...) 

This morning I sat with the small group leaders of Transformation Love and had bible study. A little over 3 months ago Transformation Love pulled out of the church we were a part of. Because of that the volunteers, beneficiaries and staff of Transformation Love were exiled from the church. For many of them that has been their church, friends and family for years(some for life). I didn’t fully grasp the pain until today, when we told the small group leaders that we have approved money to begin a Transformation Love church on our compound. The man sitting next to me, who just happened to be a former elder of the church, raised his hands and cried out “Amen! Glory to God” Shortly after I glanced over and noticed tears running down his face. This man of God who desires nothing more then to bring people further into Christ’s kingdom, has been in pain. He has had backs turned on him and has been “lost”. 

I couldn’t help but think of that sunset view yesterday, Easter. I can’t even imagine what that day looked like, the day of his resurrection thousands of years ago. The day our Lord and Savior rose again after having backs turned on him. After he was beaten and bruised for the sins of this world. My heart was torn yesterday and this morning thinking about how many have not heard how dearly loved they are. So many are lost.

Despite no water, off and on electricity, bimbee attacks, and missing my family and friends, I am so thankful to be in the presence of these people. I have a chance to watch the Lord mend their hearts and bring a place for them to worship together once more. I have the chance to watch them be Transformed by love.  

T.I.A.

Seven days in Addis and I can say I have had more adventures and experiences then I have ever had in my life. 

The 8 heavy, yellow, water jugs sitting out on the porch have become a staple in my daily routine. I can now say confidently, I have learned how to shower with a bucket (there is a fine science I never knew existed). I’ve learned how to flush a toilet using a half cut open water bottle. Bimbee’s love me and showed it 24 times one night. (Bimbee is amharic for mosquitos-which I will never forget due to the one time I said Bimbo instead and became the laughing stock. Stupid Americans...) I have learned you always carry your umbrella because within minutes it can go from sunny to torrential downpour. I have learned I love the smiles of the Transformation Love kids despite the snot hanging from some their noses and the unknown gooey hand holding. I have learned that dancing at 2am when you hear the water come back on after 6 days, is very heathy for your soul. And lastly I have learned NOTHING is easy in Africa. (T.I.A.-this is africa, has meandered it’s little head back into my vocabulary)

In the week I’ve been here, I’ve come to realize this is not the Ethiopia I’ve known the last 2 times. This Ethiopia is different. I’m different. Between the ups and downs and laying in bed at 4am really wondering if I could do this, I have come up with my theme for this year. Peace. 

I was reminded of what an important role peace plays in our life when I was doing my devotion a few days ago. It went back to when Jesus first appeared to the disciples after the resurrection and how peace was the first thing he communicated. (John 20:19) This year is a year for peace. For me to learn to be at peace in what God is doing and rejoice in the times of trial, and ice cold bucket showers... 

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:15